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Owner, "MAP Wellness" - a culinary nutrition and wellness company. Writer. Passionate cook, raw food chef, reiki practitioner, yoga teacher, and LIVE WELL educator. ​do yoga. enjoy good food. run. plant food. cook. savour wine. read books. buy good food. love. grow your energy. find peace. enjoy food. have passion. skip. eat food. do yoga. listen to jazz. have presence. be present. bike. read. see. hear. be. live. love.

Friday, February 10, 2012


Falling in, being in, feeling  Is there anything better in life, really?  I don't think so.

I have decided to write about this topic for various reasons, the most obvious being that Valentine’s Day is almost upon us; that one special day each year that we as human beings, are hard-wired to display our appreciation for the one that we love in standard or old stand-by, over-the-top, expensive, silly, and sometimes completely outlandish ways.  I am writing this post at a time when I am also preparing to face said holiday in a very new and special relationship.  At its best, this new courtship has filled me with fervor, wrapped me in warmth, and supplied me with plenty of the strength and stability I've been longing for.  At its worst, it has left me yearning, feeling vulnerable, and has at times been explosive, raw, and sometimes abusive.  You see, I have only just recently fallen in love.  I have spent the better part of the last year developing and nurturing every aspect of this bond, as it is, and will always be the most important relationship I will ever have.  And the object of my affection this time, is me.

It has been a long road, but I think I have finally found the respect, love, and compassion for myself that my ego has held captive for many, many years.  I have, over the course of this past year, allowed myself the chance to enjoy my own company, really feel my body and all it can do for me, and finally figured out how to simply honour me for me.  I am finally learning what it feels like to be complete.  Whole.  Happy.  And in love.  

Now, this is not to say that this new love I have discovered in any way overshadows the all knowing love that transpires between two people who meet and meld their lives together in the romantic type of way.  No, these are two vastly different affairs.  But I have finally discovered the important truth that one needs to first love oneself fully before they can completely give themselves to another.  In relationships, both parties need to be quite evolved as individuals, and then and only then, can their love blossom into the most beautiful, healthy, and everlasting union there ever was.     

I know what it feels like to be totally and completely in love with a man, enamored to the point where the world-stops-turning.  Oh yes, it is divine.  First with the butterflies, the newness of it all so thrilling and unpredictable.  Then there’s the infatuation; pure lust, ecstasy, the inability to think of anyone or anything thing else.  Pure euphoria.  The constant desire to touch, smell, see, hear, and be with that person...ah, the honeymoon stage.  Then later come the little notes, actions, and words that have the power to make me smile regardless of my state of mind.  The sharing of ideas, supporting of dreams, and the fueling of forward momentum as a team.  The purely romantic gestures from the heart that mean oh so much, and continually change life for the better.  Not needing to always be "right", unwavering acceptance, taking pleasure in the "quirks".  The laughter, tears, silliness, drama, and pointed connection deeper and more true than any other. The simple day to day interactions, the comfort, the quiet, the stillness.  All of it so perfect and a part of the glorious package that is true and lasting love...
Love needs to be cared for.  You need to actively participate one hundred percent, one hundred percent of the time, lest the flame will inevitably begin to smolder on at least one side of the fire.  I know this to be true.  Love needs to be fanned, fueled, and felt fully, lest it be taken for granted and forgotten. 

Like I said at the top of this post, there really is nothing better than being in love.  And now that I am happily in relationship with my own self, I am excited to see what happens when I am able to again dip into my heart's stores of affection, share my joy, and feel that rapture with another.  I look forward to being able to crack open my core, and expose that energy, a pulse of passion just waiting for the opportunity to flow from my heart and into the arms of another once again.

So there you have it.  Just my thoughts, unedited, spontaneous, and true.  I am by no means any type of expert in this arena, so if you don't agree with my musings, that is well and good.  This is simply what I believe I have learned, and what I believe to be true at this moment.  Does it all sound just too mushy?  Well I don't care if it does.  Because as it turns out, I like mush.   

Happy Valentine's Day!

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
- Lao Tzu

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
- Erich Fromm  

"True self-love requires radical self-reflection."
- Gabrielle Bernstein

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