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Owner, "MAP Wellness" - a culinary nutrition and wellness company. Writer. Passionate cook, raw food chef, reiki practitioner, yoga teacher, and LIVE WELL educator. ​do yoga. enjoy good food. run. plant food. cook. savour wine. read books. buy good food. love. grow your energy. find peace. enjoy food. have passion. skip. eat food. do yoga. listen to jazz. have presence. be present. bike. read. see. hear. be. live. love.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

30 Days.

I drink too much wine.  I have officially come to this decision.  On nights when I am at home, I always take the time to prepare myself a delicious, healthy, balanced, sit-down meal.  As I begin to develop my often improvised recipe, therapeutically washing, chopping, slicing, and creating, I put on some smooth jazz music, and I almost always pour myself a glass of white (Pinot Grigio, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling….).  By the time dinner is ready to be plated, a refill is often required, as a meal without wine to match is like…well, it’s just not as enjoyable, I am convinced.  Post meal, I do the dishes, tidy up, and settle in for the evening.  Sporting my flannel PJs, I might pour a glass of Merlot, break off a piece of 70% dark chocolate, and cozy up on the couch with a book, my knitting, or the latest Mad Men episode on Netflix.  Some nights, a second glass of red is what lulls me into my relaxed, albeit sometimes foggy, sleepy-time state, just in time for my 9pm curfew. (To qualify, I do not stumble into bed inebriated every night.  I do have to get up at 3:45am for work after all!!)

So that’s standard, two glasses at minimum.  But sometimes three or four?  Already, I know that is far too much alcohol for any women in an average sitting.  And I am sure I need not clarify that my wine glasses are rather large, and my pours quite generous.  Six ounces?  Are you kidding?  So, yeah.  That’s a lot of boozing. 

It has occurred to me many times that it is a tad silly that I commit myself so wholly to eating a nutritious diet, delve so deeply into the process of planning my meals and recipes, and expend so much time and energy maintaining an active and well-intentioned lifestyle, only to turn around and gulp down copious amounts of a toxic substance.  Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are some benefits to a glass of red here and there…but that’s one glass!  I haven’t had just one glass in a long time.  Not to mention the fact that I am very frugal in most areas of my life these days, but still find myself strolling through the Summerhill LCBO like a kid that's been handed $20 to spend  in a candy store.

I can recall many conversations I have had in past years, mainly with girlfriends, about our own personal alcohol usage.  I know that I am not the only one concerned about their consumption level.  Heck, I even remember doing an actual “Are You a Functional Alcoholic” quiz with one pal, and BOTH of us coming out affirmed.  Flip through my photos on Facebook and you'll find even more proof that I need to take it down a notch; shot after shot of me with a wine glass in my hand...pretty eye opening, indeed.  And even this past week, I chatted with a co-worker about it, and she seemed quite astounded by my everyday habit.

But, my habit goes deep.  I think I got pass-out drunk for the first time when I was in grade nine.  By mid-high school I was getting hammered every weekend.  These were almost always “get-so-drunk-you-barf” binges, and it was a massive problem in my family, and an embarrassment to my folks.  I recall one night being so smashed at a local hockey game that I was sick right in the stands, the mickey of vodka I'd consumed ending up all over the people sitting in front of me.  At that point, my friends decided it was time for me to go, dragged me out to the parking lot, and called my mom to come and pick up her slurring, sloppy, shameful daughter.  When she arrived, as she always did, God bless her, I was lying face down on the concrete barely conscious.  And then there was the night my sisters found me passed out in a ditch on the side of the highway….

Anyway, those days are certainly long gone, and I can't recall the last time I was fall over drunk, it has been so long.  But I do know that my habit is just that; a habit.  One that I need to break for a bit just to prove to myself that I can.  So a week ago, I made the decision that I was going to do this, and today marks my last day in relationship with my liquid lover.  Starting tomorrow, Monday January sixteenth, I will be booze free for thirty days.  I look forward to the final outcome, but also the process;  I am eager to see how I deal with all the negative feelings and resentments that are sure to rise up within me, and I am pumped to rock the "sober girl" stance out in the social world!  This shall be a fulfilling and clarifying learning experience, as well as a wicked physical detox.  I find myself pretty darn excited to get started.

So, with what vintage shall I bid farewell to tippling, and pair alongside my "last supper" this evening?  Well the obvious choice would be my personal fave; the juicy, sweet goodness of Kim Crawford Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc. 

Cheers, Salut, Proost, Sláinte!  Au revoir.   


  1. Good luck! And good on you for your self awareness!

  2. (Oops) Such a good test of will power and opportunity for learning more about yourself. No matter what it will be a learning experience! Good luck :)


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